At some point in life, we’ve all been guilty of shrinking ourselves—holding back our true selves to fit into spaces that no longer serve us. I have definitely been guilty of this a few times in my life and it is never a good feeling when I realize that’s what I have been doing. Whether it’s in romantic relationships, careers, or even friendships, there comes a time when we realize we’ve outgrown the people, environments, or mindsets that once felt like home. Breaking free from these familiar patterns can be challenging and emotional.

So, how do you stop shrinking to fit into places you’ve outgrown?

Recognize When You’ve Outgrown a Space

This is easier said than done. You may not even see yet that you have outgrown the space you are in. The first step in breaking the habit of shrinking is recognizing when you’ve outgrown a space. This could be a job that no longer challenges you, a friendship that feels one-sided, or even a mindset that holds you back from embracing your potential. Reflect on how you feel in those spaces—do they inspire you, or do you feel stifled? Growth requires discomfort, but it also requires recognizing when you’ve plateaued.

• Question to ask yourself: What areas of your life no longer bring you joy or challenge you to grow?

Acknowledge Your Desire for More

There’s often guilt associated with wanting more—more growth, more fulfillment, more out of life. But desiring more for yourself is not selfish; it’s a sign of personal growth for YOU. It’s okay to no longer align to who your around or with and to outgrow them. Acknowledge that your needs have evolved and that it’s okay to seek environments that align with who you are now, not who you were in the past. Give yourself permission to want more and to actively pursue it.

• Here’s the affirmation I use: “It’s okay to seek more for myself, and I deserve spaces that reflect my growth.”

Stop Apologizing for Your Growth

As you grow, not everyone will understand or support your evolution. I have lost friends, romantic partners, and even family members because they did not see what I saw for myself. Sometimes, people will resist change because it forces them to confront their own stagnation. You don’t owe anyone an apology for growing, evolving, or wanting better for yourself. Read that sentence again. Let it fully sink in that you do not need to apologize fro growing PERIOD. Your growth may make others uncomfortable, but that’s not a reason to shrink back into a smaller version of yourself. How they feel is not your responsibility when it comes to what is best for YOU. This also goes both ways, remember this when you see others around you growing in ways you are confused by. Give then the grace to talk in their own journey. If you connect again in the next phase, great. If not, know that they were not suppose to be there for the next version of you.

• Remember the mind shift: Growth is not a burden. It’s a gift to yourself and to the world around you.

Create Boundaries with Spaces That No Longer Serve You

Once you’ve recognized the spaces you’ve outgrown, the next step is setting boundaries. This could mean stepping back from toxic friendships or family, limiting your time in environments that no longer support your growth, or even saying no to opportunities that don’t align with your goals. Boundaries protect your peace and your growth. They remind you that your energy and time are valuable, and they deserve to be spent in spaces that encourage you to thrive.

• Personal Growth Tip: Identify one area where you need to set a boundary and take one step today toward establishing it.

Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented People

I remember hearing “you are the sum of the people you surround yourself with” when I was younger but it was not until I was older that I truly understand what this meant and its importance. If you’re constantly shrinking to fit into places you’ve outgrown, you may be in the wrong circles. Seek out people who encourage your growth, who challenge you to be better, and who celebrate your evolution rather than question it. Growth-oriented people will motivate you to continue expanding rather than contracting making yourself small.

• Step to take: Reach out to someone who inspires you and ask them for advice or insights on their growth journey.

Lean into the Fear of the Unknown

I am someone who absolutely hates the unknown. I prefer to now exactly how things will go so that I don’t feel bamboozled or rocked by any outcome. When I was little I use to wish my human super power was to see the future that way I knew exactly what was ahead. Maybe like you, it’s because I found stepping into new spaces or situations incredibly scary and not evolving past this as a child meant most likely being an adult with the same fear. It’s time we leave fear where it belongs, in the past. Growth requires embracing the unknown. It requires trusting that you are capable of navigating new challenges and seizing new opportunities. The fear of the unknown is often what keeps us shrinking, but pushing past that fear leads to the most profound growth.

• Here’s another affirmation: “I trust myself to navigate new opportunities and challenges. I am capable of growth and will not let fear interrupt my future'”

Growth is a Win: Celebrate Your Evolution

It’s easy to focus on what you’re leaving behind, but don’t forget to celebrate how far you’ve come. Growth is a journey, and every step forward is a victory. Celebrate the progress you’ve made and the courage it takes to step into spaces that reflect your current self.

• Gratitude practice: Take a moment to reflect on one aspect of your growth that you’re proud of. Write it down and celebrate your progress.

You Are Meant to Expand, Not Shrink

Life is about growth, evolution, and stepping into spaces that align with your true self. Stop shrinking to fit into places you’ve outgrown. You are meant to expand, to thrive, and to seek out environments that challenge and inspire you. Embrace your growth, set boundaries, and surround yourself with people who support your evolution.

Remember, the only direction worth going is forward.

You deserve to take up space unapologetically. Let go of the need to fit into smaller spaces and step boldly into the life that’s waiting for you.